Hey there. How you all doing today? (I'm deleting the Happy Easter part now that it has come and gone, but am leaving the rest as is, for anyone who needs to know.)
I've been thinking about ending my RainySkyz account for a year now. Haven't been able to decide, because once it's ended, there is no going back. I've had it since 2009. And enjoyed it tremendously. I've met a lot of very nice people who have stuck by me through the good and bad times, as I have tried to do for them. All of deviantART's people have been very inspirational for me. Even when I've not been contributing, I've still been observing and learning and improving and watching everyone else learn and improve. I have such a profound understanding of art now, something I did not have before joining DA. I've studied many of you, asked many questions, received helpful advice, including what Terry/Terrence has given me as well.
But I don't like it that I've become so public, so personal, instead of keeping it only about art. That part is difficult for me because I'm very honest and spontaneous and often wish to help someone if they are in trouble, or ask for advice if I'm going through a bad month myself. I mean, that is the good thing about DA. You can make your page your own, and say whatever you want; including doing likewise on everyone else's page if they allow it. It's a wonderful thing. But, sometimes I feel uncomfortable having so much of this always public, no way to turn it off or remove it, because it spans 7 years. I'm not the same person as I was. Hopefully I am better, wiser, more healed. Hopefully my being here has done the same for others, too.
The other thing is... I'm into my music again. Composing. Actually composing. Digitally. I've been studying and acquiring new skills and really enjoying the whole events, minus the times I can't own or comprehend what is required. I've always said that music comes first in my life when concerning hobbies and ambition. But I don't have enough time, wellness, energy, and emotions to focus on music, art, lit, crafts, photography, psychology, general studies, Terry, family, friends, sleeping, cycling, cooking, cleaning, doctor appointments, and everything else. I am getting up in age where each day is precious. There aren't as many functional years remaining. I feel pressured to pick and choose what is dearest to my heart, and stay there, rather than so easily be pulled from one thing to the other, because of a very curious and intellectual mind. Always wanting to learn something new, try something new (if it's healthy and useful in some way). Discipline has not been my best trait. I'm reliable and responsible for others, just not as much for my own interests.
Maybe you can identify?
So I'm thinking about ending RainySkyz even though I love the name and account, the friends and watchers I've made, and the comfort of knowing my way around, as well as being able to post whatever 'deviant' I am in the mood to submit.
But... it nags me... the wanting/needing to leave... and yet... the fear I might regret it and forever miss RainySkyz... a very kind, amusing, and happy alterego for sure.
However, rather than just ending it today and leaving you in the lurch, wondering... you who care and have grown accustomed to visiting my page... I wanted to preface my thoughts and intentions, if indeed I have the courage to pull the plug.
Having read all of the above (assuming you did?) (thank you!) what do you suggest? Can you give me reasons for leaving, reasons for staying, reasons for waiting, reasons for ending it now? Have you ever done it? And how well did you deal with the aftermath of no longer having the name and account and friends and followers? I sincerely would like your input. It might help me decide one way or other, and much sooner.
Meanwhile it's been raining in drought-ridden California all winter and even at the start of a new spring. I am feeling so much better for it, because a 5th year of drought just was not doable to any of us, and I feared. As is, California has a lot to recover. Such as, our aquifers which bottled water companies have been purloining, and oil fracking has polluted; agriculture, landscaping, hills, and forests which fires have wreaked havoc; to name a few. We're still asked to ration our water until a few more years of good rain... better yet, to continue, since one cannot assume water (or any vital) is an unlimited supply.
And now that I've babbled too long, I will end here... wishing you a Happy Day (Week, Month, Year, Life)... and go back to my music. If DA offered easier options for sharing one's music, I'd have more reason to remain. But probably under another name. One used only for my work (keeping anything private, elsewhere or behind the scenes.)
Take good care of yourselves.